45-year-old daughter argues with 72-year-old mother about her not contributing any money each month despite living together and covering almost everything: ‘ I don’t know why she thinks she should just get a free ride from me’ – FAIL Blog

Sometimes we try to be nice to somebody who needs it, but we end up making things more difficult for us.  

Being too nice is a problem. People take advantage of your kindness, leaving you in a weird position where you have to comply with things you don’t want to. And if you back down after offering, then you are the worst. This makes us think that it is preferable to be ‘the bad guy’ to avoid having to commit to things that will only complicate us for people who don’t even deserve it in the first place. 

In the story below, the daughter had good intentions, thinking that giving her mother a free place to live till she got back on her feet would actually make a difference in her life. Time passed, and when her mom could start to help out with some money, she asked for it. And everything was great, until the mother turned out to be resentful over the fact that she had to contribute and wasn’t just getting a free space to live by her daughter.

What the daughter did was extremely nice, a good act of kindness not expecting anything in return. She just wanted her mom to be fine. Instead, she got herself in an uncomfortable situation where she can’t even ask her mom to provide $500 a month to help out with the household expenses. She didn’t have to help her in the first place, but she did, and now, because of it, she’s expected to help her out forever. That wasn’t the deal at all.  

So… Why get yourself involved in helping others if it’s just going to turn bad for yourself? Do we continue doing good no matter what? Or do we prioritize ourselves and stop helping out? Can’t the people being helped understand that the person helping them doesn’t owe them anything and it’s just making an effort for them? That they aren’t going to be helping you forever? I will always say we need to be kind to each other, no matter what. But that isn’t going to last if people keep taking advantage of someone’s kindness.