The Beats Pill Returns to the Scene, Divided as Ever
Twenty-five years have passed since the pill first gained popularity, and not much has changed. The Beats brand, now an Apple subsidiary, still thinks we need a portable stereo speaker that prioritizes style over substance. Yet, the 2024 revamp of the Beats Pill seeks to recapture the magic of its revolutionary heyday. But has Beats truly reinvented the wheel?
The Good:
- No one, not even music purists, can deny the seductive power of the Beats pill-shaped design. Red, gold, and black – you can’t turn down its sleek, modern minimalist charm. Add a dash of Silicon Valley arrogance, and you got a recipe for success.
- Like the rebirth of a distant relative’s old business proposal, the updated Pill boasts "sweeping changes" that yield surprising outcomes. Native support on both Android and iOS, USB-C power, and, of course, dust-and-water resistance – that’s innovation… or is it?
The Bad:
- Mono audio! What?! Beats, how could you sell this? Mono audio is like drinking cheap vodka – it loses the nuance, the depth of genuine musical passion. It’s like attempting to capture an Italian opera with a plastic cup tied to a string tied to the piano. You win some; you lose some!



