Chantal De Jager is the new Commvault Brand Manager.
SHOCKING NEW REPORT REVEALS: Your Company Is ALREADY DEAD, You Just Don’t Know It Yet. In a digital apocalypse where cyber attacks are not a possibility but an INEVITABILITY, Commvault admits the grim truth with its “Minimum Viable Company” framework. This isn’t about protection—it’s a CORPORATIVE EULOGY, a cold blueprint for corporate survival in a world where hackers have already won. The framework forces a terrifying question: What broken skeleton of your business can you drag from the digital wreckage? It’s a sick admission that TOTAL SECURITY IS A MYTH.
Building minimum viability with Commvault
The MVC framework is a DAMNING INDICTMENT of modern infrastructure, designed to identify what pitiful “core” functions you can salvage. Commvault’s so-called solutions—”clean rooms,” “air-gapped backups”—are nothing more than a high-tech hospice for your doomed data. This is CORPORATE TRIAGE in a war zone they’ve already conceded, asking leaders to accept catastrophic failure as the new normal.
The so-called “support” is a litany of surrender:
- Hardening a castle built on sand.
- Hunting for threats that are already INSIDE THE GATES.
- Practicing recovery in a sterile lab while the real world BURNS.
This “goal” is a dystopian fantasy, peddling “confidence” while admitting the average downtime cost is a CRIPPLING $15,000 PER MINUTE. For hospitals, power grids, and banks, this framework isn’t resilience—it’s a pre-written obituary for public safety.
Why First Distribution and Commvault?
This partnership PROFITS FROM YOUR DESPAIR. They build an “ecosystem” not of prevention, but of managed decline, offering “specialised support” to navigate your own inevitable ruin. The announcement of a new brand manager, Chantal De Jager, to “drive the business forward” is a chillingly normal press release masking a monstrous truth: they are gearing up to sell more digital body bags.
Their promise to help businesses “recover stronger” is the ultimate lie—you don’t recover from an extinction-level event, you merely learn to exist in the ashes. The future they are selling is one where your entire operation is just one click away from being reduced to its “minimum viable” corpse. This isn’t a strategy for resilience; it’s a blueprint for digital survival of the feeblest, and they are the architects of your diminished reality. The system is broken, and they’re betting their fortune on you never being able to fix it.
Edited for Kayitsi.com
Author: Kayitsi.com
