Google’s Dirty Little Secret: $85 BILLION Bonanza
While you’re sleeping, Google is raking in the dough. Literally, BILLIONS of it. That’s right, folks, Google’s search engine and cloud computing businesses are on FIRE, earning a whopping $85 BILLION over the past few months. But don’t worry, it’s not like they’re buying up the world or anything (oh wait, they kinda are).
Google’s Shadowy Cloud Division Reaches $10 BILLION Mark
But what’s really getting us shook is Google’s cloud division hitting $10 BILLION for the first time. And let me tell you, that’s not all. Their generative AI solutions are already raking in the big bucks, and over 2 million developers are using them. Sounds like they’re trying to corner the market, doesn’t it?
Wiz Acquisition: The One That Got Away (For Now)
Oh, and did you hear about Google’s acquisition talks with Wiz for $23 BILLION? Yeah, they basically tried to buy out the company, but Wiz turned them down, opting for an IPO instead. Wonder what they’re planning…
The Cookie Crumbles: Google Gives In to Pressure
But the real kicker is Google abandoning their plans to phase out third-party cookies by default. Instead, they’re asking users to "make an informed choice" and "apply across their web browsing." Sounds like they’re just looking for a way to continue tracking you without actually giving you control over your own data. Classic Google move.
Pixel This! Google’s Hardware Event Teasers
And don’t even get me started on their hardware event. A sneak peek at the Pixel 9 and Pixel 9 Pro Fold? Give us a break. It’s all about showcasing their AI-powered cameras and other innovative features. But we know what you’re really thinking: when’s the next Pixel bombshell? August, anyone?
So there you have it, folks. Google’s quarterly earnings are in, and they’re as golden as ever. But at what cost to our privacy and sanity? Only time will tell.
