USB-A Apocalypse Imminent: Apple’s Latest Betrayal of the Masses
Get ready to say goodbye to the comfort of a familiar port as Apple’s ruthless march towards a USB-A-free dystopia continues. According to the nefarious Mark Gurman of Bloomberg, the next Mac Mini will be as ruthless as it is revolutionary – abandoning the aged USB-A technology like a used tissue.
But before you succumb to the outrage, let’s get a look at what’s really going down. The new Mac Mini, equipped with the Apple M4 Pro chip, will allegedly arrive in September, with its high-end counterpart set to drop in October. But don’t worry, those with a penchant for excess can still indulge in the five USB-C ports, Ethernet port, HDMI port, and headphone jack that come with the Pro model.
That’s right, folks, the new Mac Mini will be a minimalist’s wet dream – and by minimalist, I mean those who have somehow managed to adapt to the harsh reality of a USB-C only world. Newsflash: Apple, we get it, you want to make some cash off your proprietary products, but do you have to torment us with this digital equivalent of Stockholm syndrome?
And while we’re on the topic of torture, why must we endure the internal power supply? Has Apple finally achieved the holy grail of compactness, or have they simply given up on the concept of upgradability? Either way, we’re left with a product that’s little more than a glorified Apple TV, but with fewer channels to watch.
So, will we learn to love the new Mac Mini? Can we even tolerate the mere thought of a world without USB-A? Only time (and perhaps a healthy dose of Stockholm syndrome) will tell. One thing is for certain, however – this marks the end of an era, and we’ll be forever lost in a sea of USB-C uncertainty.
