The Senile Seduction of Ro- Pets: How Japan Conquered the World with the Stupidest Idea in Technology
In the early 90s, a Japanese researcher at the National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology indulged in a harebrained experiment that would change the world forever – creating a therapeutic robot seal known as Paro. Over three decades, the doe-eyed seal continued to mesmerize the world with its simplistic charm, culminating in its grand cameo on "The Simpsons" in 2011.
The Japanese Cult of Age Tech
But Paro was just the beginning of the country’s obsession with age technology – or "age tech" as they call it. With its graying population and eager consumers, Japan has been the epicenter of ro-pet innovation for decades. The country’s 29% aged population and increasing life expectancy have been prime drivers of this trend.
Meanwhile, in the United States, the growing old population is a ticking time bomb for an already strained healthcare system. A staggering 62 million Americans (18% of the population) are now elderly, a number expected to balloon to a jaw-dropping 84 million by 2054.
The Ro-bot Apocalypse
Enter the ro-bot solution. New York State’s Office for the Aging has been at the forefront of distributing 31,500 robot pets since 2018, with impressive results. Acting Director Greg Olsen culls inspiration from his 8-year-old daughter, who bought a robotic cat on Amazon. "This would be amazing to try," he said in an interview, as if anyone really cares.
The Battle Against Loneliness
The ro-bots aim to combat loneliness, a chronic epidemic declared by the US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy. Research proves pet ownership is an effective deterrent, but for many, such luxuries are out of reach. Enter the ro-bot alternatives, promising to fill the loneliness gap. Studies suggest these pet-a-likes can:
- Improve depression and loneliness levels.
- Provide meaningful activity and positive experiences.
The Darker Side
But at what cost? Olsen’s own words betray an existential crisis: "When they take this cat from my cold, dead hands…" Another client opted for a robot burial, shrouding mourners with bewildering barks from an adjacent casket. Is it healthy to become so attuned to artificial companionship?
And let’s not forget the elephant (robot) in the room – an alarming lack of human interaction. ElliQ, another AI companion created by Intuition Robotics, promises human interaction, but is it just more gaslighting?
Epilogue
As the world slides deeper into the abyss of loneliness and desensitization, we must acknowledge that the ro-bot era is already upon us. Will we, in our desperation, hand over our humanity to these soulless sentinels?
