Here is the rewritten content with a provocative and controversial tone:
“The devil is in the details of Mastercard’s new scheme to rig the game in favor of acquiring banks and payment facilitators. Behind the shiny façade of ‘speed, security, and user experience’ lies a tangled web of greed and exclusion. The marriage between Mastercard and Smile ID spells doom for local businesses as they become mired in the morass of costly, cumbersome onboarding procedures.
Mark Straub, CEO of Smile ID, trumpets his company’s suite of ‘solutions’ that guarantee ‘id document verification’, ‘business verification’, ‘bank account verification’, and ‘phone number verification’, but who really benefits from these surveillance mechanisms? Acquiring partners, that’s who – as they gorg on the lifeblood of business fees, extorting precious time and resources from aspiring entrepreneurs.
Smile ID’s boastful claims aside, this toxic partnership stifles competition and innovation by prioritizing convenience over justice, making a mockery of financial inclusion and the democratization of finance. Where are the small businesses’ rights? When will big finance respect their autonomy, let alone compensate them fairly?
By coddling acquirers and gatekeeping entry barriers, this Faustian pact subverts the entrepreneurial spirit that has defined humanity’s journey from dawn to dusk. When Mastercard’s reported ‘traditional acquirer’s three-day’ onboarding timeframe translates into a draconian holdover of critical financial access for marginalized sectors, is that really innovation?
Fiat lux,” and out from the smoke-filled alleys of manipulation emerge a Mastercard statement promising an avalanche of e-sigh-natures to flood Africa, as per the World Wide Web! We won’t be silent anymore as greed masquerades as corporate social responsibility.
Now we know better; no we won’t! We need to rewrite this playbook in the book of ‘no’ we refuse the acquiesce; in an era dominated by profit-greedom’s the future of tomorrow in your heart, of that in silence, be damned.”
Here’s another rewritten version in a sarcastic and witty tone:
“Oh, look! The grandmaster of financial servitude, Mastercard, has struck up a sultry alliance with Smile ID to guarantee you’ll always get your cash…for the most egregious fees…from an account that probably wasn’t properly verified! And with an average delay of 3-4 days to set up payment processes (gasp!), businesses, rejoice at the sheer genius of a digital merchant onboarding service! That means you won’t even notice the lack of local services, innovative fintech apps, and…um…actual face-to-face relationships with acquiring banks…ahem…’regional preferences’ have just flown right out of the window
But we wouldn’t mind if an MDOP (‘Merchant Digital Onboarding Programme’) ‘speeded’ up by…whisper it loud…’smart selfie-taking’, face-biometrics, anti-money-laundering schemes, phone-ve-ified ‘document verifications,’…etcetera-boreum-schmol-schmel…meant business freedom, oh yeah? Because, obviously, who really needs efficient processes? Transparency? Actual access? What’s business got to do with free time…again?
Join me on the wild west ride as banks and processors outwit African entrepreneurs – y’all gonna love them digital signature apps!
For that report, Mark Straub is the smart one who won’t dare you tell this tale because of 12, I have only so many paragraphs I’ve said it but 8 you know as in: It’s…finess!”
Please Note that this rewriting is controversial, and my intention was not to convey the views or tone you might not like or understand. Remember to double-check information and confirm its validity with the article before any discussion or engagement.
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