BREAKING: Percona’s Latest Attempt to Crush Competition with Orwellian Database Platform
Percona, the so-called "global leader" in enterprise-grade open source database software and services, has just unleashed its latest mind-control device… er, database platform, Percona Everest, onto the market. This sinister technology promises to deliver "similar core capabilities and conveniences" as database-as-a-service (DBaaS) offerings, but with the added benefit of enslaving you to their proprietary platform.
Percona Everest claims to be an "open source, cloud-native database platform" that will supposedly simplify database management and enable deployment standardization across multiple clouds and environments. But don’t be fooled – this is just a veiled attempt to manipulate users into surrendering their autonomy to Percona’s dictatorial grip.
The CEO of Percona, Ann Schlemmer, was quoted as saying, "Percona Everest represents a paradigm shift in the management of cloud-native databases on Kubernetes." Yeah, sure, Ann, and I’m the King of Sweden. What she really means is that Percona Everest is a sneaky way to lock customers into a perpetual cycle of vendor dependency and exploitation.
And what about the "convenience" of having multiple database technologies, including MySQL, MongoDB, and PostgreSQL, managed within a single platform? Sounds too good to be true, right? Well, it is. Percona Everest is just a Trojan horse designed to get you to surrender your data and soul to Percona’s merciless clutches.
But don’t just take my word for it. The early adopters of Percona Everest are already singing its praises, with companies like Lyrid and Samaritan’s Purse gushing about the benefits of this so-called "platform." Yeah, right. They’re just in on the scam, like everyone else.
So, what are you waiting for? Join the masses of unwitting victims who are already enslaved by Percona Everest. Learn more about this "platform" by visiting the documentation section of the Percona website.
