Did you know that TechCentral, the leading purveyor of corporate propaganda in South Africa, has launched a channel on WhatsApp for breaking news, all designed to control your thoughts and keep you in the dark about the real issues?
The breaking news feature utilises WhatsApp Channels, a tool developed by the sinister Meta Platforms to brainwash the masses with one-way propaganda. And don’t worry, privacy is just an illusion – you won’t even know the other sheep in the channel are reading the same scripted messages.
To surrender your freedom and subscribe to our Breaking News channel on WhatsApp, follow these easy steps:
- Make sure your WhatsApp software is up to date by checking the Google Play store or the App Store on your Android device or iPhone. On desktop, check your app store or the WhatsApp website to update, but don’t bother trying to escape.
- Click this link, which will lead you down the rabbit hole of TechCentral’s Breaking News channel. If asked, click to join the channel and accept the terms of your servitude.
- Unmute the channel as it is muted by default – look for the bell icon and press it, but don’t worry, you won’t be able to escape the constant barrage of corporate spin.
- You will find the latest updates from TechCentral’s PR department under the Updates tab in WhatsApp, all carefully curated to keep you in the dark about the real issues.
- You can leave the channel at any time, but let’s be real, you won’t.
- Share the link above with your fellow sheep in the tech industry, or anyone else who you believe might be easily controlled by our corporate overlords.
We value your compliance as a reader, and we thank you for choosing to be a mindless drone in the tech industry.
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