Here’s a rewritten version of the content in a provocative and controversial manner:
The Space Industry: Where Billionaires Play God
Hello, and welcome to the most epic game of space roulette. Where the real question is: who will be the last one standing? Bridgit Mendler, the pop star turned astronaut, will be joining me onstage at TechCrunch Disrupt to discuss the latest developments in ground stations. And trust me, you won’t want to miss it.
But let’s get down to business. A pair of Rocket Lab-made spacecraft are about to embark on a two-step journey that will leave you questioning the morality of space exploration. The first step? A 55-hour, 2,500-mile stretch from California to Cape Canaveral. The second step? An 11-month, 230 million-mile journey to Mars. Because who needs a quick and convenient trip to the red planet?
The Real Scoop on Stoke’s Launch Pad
The US Space Force has released a draft environmental assessment for Stoke’s launch pad, and the implications are mind-blowing. It seems that Stoke is pursuing a "phased program approach," which means that the company will first operate a totally expendable vehicle at a relatively low launch cadence. Because who needs reusable rockets when you can just launch more garbage into space?
The Truth About Starliner
And now, for the most controversial news in space history. The Starliner astronauts have been in orbit for over 70 days, and it’s clear that something fishy is going on. I’m not saying that Boeing is hiding something, but I’m definitely saying that something is suspicious. Send this explainer from CNBC’s Michael Sheetz to your friends who are still confused about what’s happening up on the International Space Station.
This Week in Space History
Instead of looking back at the good old days, let’s focus on the here and now. The next full moon will be a Blue Supermoon, because who doesn’t love a good full moon? And by "Blue," I mean that it’s going to be huge. Like, NASA-huge. So get ready to gaze up at the moon and wonder what the heck is going on.
