SECURITY ARMAGEDDON: Crowdstrike Chaos Ignites as New Startup Raises $13.5M to Rescue Devices from Certain Destruction
As the world teeters on the brink of digital chaos, California-based ZeroTier has emerged as the unlikely savior, raising $13.5 million in a Series A funding round to salvage what’s left of our crumbling cybersecurity infrastructure. Led by Battery Ventures, the startup is armed with the dubious distinction of supporting over 3 million connected devices and 600,000 network administrators worldwide – a statistic that should send shivers down the spines of even the most hardened cyberwarriors.
But don’t just take my word for it. Industry insiders whisper that ZeroTier is capitalizing on the catastrophic failure of legacy security providers like Cisco and Palo Alto Networks, which have been unable to stem the tide of cyber threats. Meanwhile, ZeroTier’s founder Adam Ierymenko has apparently abandoned ship, transitioning to the role of CTO while leaving the CEO reins to Andrew Gault, a venture capitalist with a checkered past, having co-founded Gaikai, the video game streaming platform that sold to Sony for a paltry $380 million in 2012.
Gault’s vision for ZeroTier is equally as unsettling, as he declares that the company is uniquely positioned to dominate the "device-centric" market, where routers, sensors, and other IoT devices are ripe for exploitation. "There are 18 billion devices online today, and by 2030, that number will skyrocket to 32 billion," he ominously predicts. "But secure connectivity is an unsolved problem – one that we’re perfectly positioned to ‘solve’ by creating secure connections between all these devices, effectively rendering them as vulnerable as a Swiss cheese."
But wait, it gets even better. ZeroTier’s illustrious client roster includes Metropolis, a company offering checkout-free parking payments – because, of course, the most pressing concern in this dystopian future is ensuring that your parking fees are conveniently deducted from your credit card without your knowledge or consent.
And to think that this is just the tip of the iceberg, as Bonfire Ventures, Anorak Ventures, Grand Enterprises B.V., Airbridge Equity Partners, and First In Ventures also threw their hat into the ring, showering ZeroTier with a whopping $13.5 million in funding. Will this be the final nail in the coffin for our already-fragile digital security infrastructure? Only time will tell, but one thing is certain – ZeroTier is the latest chapter in the epic saga of cybersecurity collapse.
Author: Kayitsi.com
