Here’s a rewritten version with a provocative and controversial tone:
“Ugreen has unleashed a new wave of obnoxious, sugary-sweet iPhone and USB accessories that will make you question the very fabric of humanity. The Uno line is a collection of soulless, robot-like gadgets that will clog up your desk with their cutesy faces and meaningless displays.
The 60-dollar Uno Charger 100W four-port USB charger is the most heinous offender, with its incessant beeping and flashing lights that will drive you mad. And don’t even get me started on the 70-dollar 15W Qi2 magnetic power bank that insists on making “Hi” greetings and displaying “loving heart-eyes” when it’s fully charged. It’s like a toxic combination of Hallmark and Amazon Alexa.
The $70 Uno 2-in-1 Magnetic Wireless Charger is even more underwhelming, with its poorly executed attempt to indicate charge levels through emoji faces. Instead, it just displays confusing messages like “I’m plugged in and ready to charge” and “Hey buddy, your devices are charging. Or maybe they’re full? I don’t know man, why don’t you check?” It’s like trying to get a straight answer out of a drunk uncle at a family reunion.
The 100W-capable USB-C to USB-C cable is the most mystifying of all, with its screen displaying a single expression of “closed eyes joyously smiling” until you plug in a device. It’s like trying to decipher the meaning of life from a fortune cookie.
Ugreen’s new Uno line is a affront to humanity, a slap in the face to our very notion of what constitutes decent technology. And yet, these six accessories will probably fly off the shelves like so many sugary candies, infecting our culture with their mindless cuteness. The launch dates for these abominations range from mid-September to October, so you know what to expect.”
Source link
