Being cordial with an ex doesn’t mean being comfortable with giving them access to your home while you are away. Some boundaries need to be respected, especially after dealing with a difficult divorce.
The situation started as a dog-sitting problem. The ex-wife offered to babysit his dog and their friend’s dog at his place so that the group could go on vacation together. It seems they had already tried this arrangement before, but every time this happened, it caused problems afterward. So this time he decided to say no. But his friends were not that happy with his decision. In fact, they were not happy at all. So much so that they decided to cancel the trip.
The whole situation felt like it was more than just about the dogs. There’s also an important detail in this story: the friend’s wife is still friends with the divorced friend’s ex-wife. So being in the middle of friends might feel a bit conflicted. And it certainly affected their choices, because the friends wanted only her to pet-sit their dogs. Not any other trusted pet-sitter. So that’s where the whole “dog argument” falls apart. It’s reasonable that your friend doesn’t want his ex in his house; then why wouldn’t you accept another pet sitter? The thing is, it’s not only about the dogs.
Going through a divorce is going through a process of separating lives, routines, and emotional bonds. If you’re a good friend, you’ll understand that your friend is just trying to move on with his life and trying to be healthy. You won’t try to keep him involved with his ex-wife when he clearly doesn’t want that.
So the divorced dog owner didn’t ruin the trip by setting a boundary. He even came up with a different solution. But his friends didn’t like it, and his friends were the ones who decided to cancel the trip because they didn’t like the boundary he set.
Author: Kayitsi.com
