Mother-in-law refuses to call daughter-in-law by her preferred name, so she teaches her toddler to call her grandma a name she doesn’t like, meemaw: ‘The entire 11 years my MIL has used my whole name’ – FAIL Blog

Why can something as simple as a nickname cause such a huge family feud? Is the rivalry between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law going to go on forever?

I don’t really get the fuss between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law; it feels like a simple way to just pin women against each other based on nothing. But sometimes I get proven incorrect. This feud is always between the mother of a HUSBAND and the girl he married. What they have in common is a man. This often goes hand in hand with having an overprotected mother, also known as a boy mom. They focus so much on their son that even if they also have a daughter, they do not care as much. These mothers see themselves as the only woman, or the first woman, in their son’s life. This creates competition among themselves and his son’s girlfriends. 

That competition and jealousy are what really motivates the mothers to pursue confrontation with their daughters-in-law. The importance of the arguments lies almost completely in the fact that they feel displaced. Their place in their son’s life has been occupied by someone younger, cuter, and nicer. So they don’t mistreat their son’s girlfriend for pure hatred towards them directly, is more vengeance for their place being taken. Which also includes the expectations they pass on to their daughters-in-law, as they expect them to take care of their “little boys” (grown adults) as they did. 

So this feud is not really about the woman entering the family, is about the mother feeling displaced by another woman and feeling as if they don’t matter anymore just because their son is in love. Is about expecting to be the most important person in your son’s life even when they form their family. Is about feeling jealous. So, in this story, as almost all of the other ones that bring up the in-laws topic, it is important to understand that just because your child grows and forms their own family doesn’t mean that they are eliminating the connection to their parents, and this is the other way as well. Just because you are married doesn’t mean you stop considering your parents part of your family. Is about finding your place in a bigger family.