He is the daughter’s boyfriend, not an ATM!
Boyfriends are sometimes expected more than girlfriends, at least monetarily. A lot has changed in the last decade, but still we encounter families that believe that the boyfriend who marries into the family needs to take care of everything financially, be the provider. As if just being the boyfriend wasn’t enough. I don’t like the idea that a man has to be responsible for every penny that is spent, especially when it doesn’t only include their wife but also her in-laws. I believe that it is possible to get to a financial arrangement between a man and a woman who marry each other, and they should be the only ones deciding it. If they want to be a stay-at-home mother and a provider father, that’s fine. It’s completely up to them. But if the family is the one forcing those expectations onto the couple, then I believe that they need to place boundaries.
In the story of u/ihadnolunchtoday, it seems as if this boyfriend agreed to go to a family vacation with his in-laws without knowing that he was going to be an ATM instead of the daughter’s plus one. He did agree to pay for his and his girlfriend’s room and food. But he never expected to be responsible for his sister-in-law’s baby’s diapers. When he started to get asked for money to pay for different things, he started to make up excuses to try to get out of it, but he really disliked the attitude of the family, as this sister is even older than him. He had an arrangement with his girlfriend, not her entire family, and the fact that everyone, including the girlfriend, just assumed he HAD to do it was unsettling for him.
Putting myself in this man’s shoes, I wouldn’t want to be treated like this. These expectations that they are wanting to place on him seem unfair and too much. He has the right to decide if he wants to invite somebody’s food or not. He has no obligation to do it, and no one should expect it, as he never offered in the first place. The fact that his girlfriend is just going along with her family is really sad, as this may end up with a breakup. I really hope this man stands up for himself, as he shouldn’t be paying for anything that he doesn’t want to. And let’s hope this relationship can survive this with just some boundaries.
Author: Kayitsi.com
