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Burnt Bridges and Bully Pulpits Collide


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Prepare for a Circus: The Most Politically Corrupt Debate in History is About to Go Down

Thursday, June 27th, at 9PM ET, the world will be witness to a debate that will either redeem or further destroy what’s left of American democracy. In a bizarre twist, CNN, one of the most liberal news outlets in the country, is hosting the debate, and not the non-partisan Commission on Presidential Debates (CPD).

No Audience, No Sanity

This time, CNN has decided to take matters into their own hands and impose a draconian measure: muting the candidates’ mics when it’s not their turn to speak. Because what could possibly go wrong with removing the most essential element of free speech? It’s not like either candidate needs an audience to justify their erratic behavior.

A Historical First: No One Will Witness the Trainwreck

Mark this date, folks: for the first time in history, a presidential debate will be held without an audience. Can you smell the desperation? Is CNN trying to silence the voices that could expose the truth about these politicians’ reckless policies? Tune in to find out!

How to Tune In to the Chaos (Without Actually Watching)

For the masochistic few who want to subject themselves to the torture, CNN will broadcast the debate live on TV, as well as stream it on their website, YouTube, and for subscribers on Max. Other outlets like PBS, The Washington Post, C-SPAN, and Fox News will also carry the feed. Because, you know, we’re all desperate for a good trainwreck to distract us from the impending apocalypse.

Moderators: The Janus-Faced Guardians of Justice

And who will preside over this farce? None other than Jake Tapper and Dana Bash, hosts of the so-called "State of the Union" political talk show on CNN. These supposedly objective moderators will ensure that both sides have a fair chance to spew their lies and half-truths, all while avoiding the actual issues that matter to the American people. Just another day in the political circus.

So, join us for the most dramatic, thrilling, and utterly depressing display of political corruption you’ve ever seen!



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