Driving someone to work is not a commitment. It is a casual favor. And if the other person cannot contribute what they agreed to contribute, then they need to find another ride.
The commute was not short; it was an hour away from town, and it was every day, which means this was a big favor involving time, gas, and responsibility. The problem started when the passenger sometimes bought food instead of paying for gas. It can sound good on the surface, but that was not the deal. The agreement was gas money. And these nice gestures look more like he was trying to make it harder for the driver to call him out on what he was actually avoiding: the fact that he was not paying her for the daily commutes to work, and that it had already been three weeks. Â
So the whole thing is not a misunderstanding. It’s someone benefiting from the arrangement while avoiding complying with his part of the deal. The entire reason the arrangement works is that both of them put money for gas. If he doesn’t, then there is no deal. Paying gas money is not a cute optional bonus. The driver had the right to request payment, as she wasn’t obligated to provide endless patience. But when she finally gave him an ultimatum, he acted shocked and accused her of being aggressive, instead of acknowledging that he owed the money. Suddenly, the problem was not that he had not paid for three weeks; it was the tone and the way in which the driver requested the money from him. Now that is manipulative.Â
The driver wasn’t wrong for ending the agreement. In fact, it was the healthiest thing she could have done before it got worse. If you are doing someone a favor and the other person doesn’t fulfill their part of the deal, makes payment feel like pulling teeth, argues over basic accountability, then they are not respecting your time. And self-respect sometimes sounds like: “find someone else to take you tomorrow”.
Author: Kayitsi.com
