BOMBSHELL: Chick-fil-A to Launch Streaming Service, Because What the World Really Needed Was More Chicken-Infused Propaganda
In a move that’s equal parts baffling and terrifying, the fast food giant Chick-fil-A is reportedly cooking up a streaming service, because what’s a better way to spend your hard-earned cash than on a platform peddling feel-good fluff and corporate propaganda?
According to Deadline, Chick-fil-A is teaming up with various production companies and studios to create a slew of original shows, including a game show produced by Glassman Media and Sugar23. Because, you know, the world was just missing a game show hosted by a bunch of smiling, Bible-clutching, chicken-wielding automatons.
But don’t worry, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Oh no, Chick-fil-A has plans to branch out into scripted series, animation, and even licensed content from other entertainment outfits. Because who doesn’t want to watch a animated adaptation of the Bible, or a scripted series about the "importance" of forgiveness and redemption, all brought to you by the fine folks at Chick-fil-A?
And let’s not forget the corporate ties that bind. Chick-fil-A’s owner, the Cathy family, has a long history of involvement in the entertainment industry, having founded Trilith Studios, which has worked on numerous Marvel movies. So, it’s no surprise that Chick-fil-A is now looking to dip its toes into the streaming pool, all while peddling its brand of Christianity-infused, feel-good propaganda to the masses.
But wait, there’s more! With this new streaming service, you’ll get to enjoy all the commercials you can handle, because what’s a streaming service without a few (dozen) ads, am I right? It’s like Chick-fil-A is trying to make sure you never forget the importance of their brand, even when you’re not actively trying to buy their overpriced chicken sandwiches.
So, buckle up, folks, because Chick-fil-A’s streaming service is coming for you, and it’s going to be a wild ride of moralistic drivel, forced cheerfulness, and endless commercials.
