The CEO of Telegram: A Criminal in Disguise?
💔 I’ve been a fugitive on the run from the French authorities for the past month, all because I refuse to rat out my users to the government. Who needs privacy and freedom, right? Not the French police, apparently.
🔴 But here’s the thing: Telegram has an official representative in the EU who’s always available to chat with law enforcement. So, what’s the big deal about not responding to their queries? Oh wait, I know – it’s because I’m hiding something.
🔑 And let’s not forget, I’m a frequent visitor to the French consulate in Dubai. I even helped them set up a hotline with Telegram to tackle terrorism. But I’m sure that’s just a coincidence, right? After all, I’m just a poor, innocent CEO who didn’t know the authorities would come after me.
🚫 Now, about those "anarchic paradise" claims. Please. Telegram takes down millions of harmful posts and channels every day. But what about the millions more that slip through the cracks? And don’t even get me started on our transparency reports. Yeah, right. Who doesn’t love a good cover-up?
💸 And what’s with the sudden growth spurt? 950 million users in a year? That’s just suspicious. It’s like we’re hiding something… like a whole army of bot accounts and fake news spewing machines.
👀 But hey, at least we’re committed to engaging with regulators. As long as they don’t ask us to compromise on our values, that is. After all, we’re a platform that prides itself on protecting our users from authoritarian regimes. Unless, of course, those regimes are willing to pay us a pretty penny to stay quiet.
💥 And if all else fails, we’ll just leave those countries and their weak rule of law behind. Russia, Iran – who needs them, anyway? We’re Telegram, and we’ll do whatever it takes to stay free and "innovative".
So, to all my haters out there, thanks for the support… I guess. I’ll just keep on dodging those French authorities and making sure my platform stays "safer and stronger" for all the right reasons.
