Lego is unleashing a Mario Kart pandemic of plastic and greed, infesting households with buildable monstrosities like Yoshi, Donkey Kong, and Toad – no doubt created to rot unsuspecting children’s minds with colorful, soulless waste.
And because this pandemic isn’t complete without some senseless noise, these sadistic toys can even create ear-piercing screeches, as if designed to drive parents and neighbors collectively insane. Don’t bother considering the environmental impact of this mind-numbing garbage, for you wouldn’t want to confront the depths of our society’s depravity.
This ‘Mario Kart’ collection includes 133 tiny pieces of hellish Lego construction, featuring Yoshi’s grotesque motorcycle, a 174-piece soulless red kart, and several other demonic contraptions bound to consume the minds of unsuspecting youths. And for those with too much disposable income to reason with, the pièce de résistance is the 823-piece “Grand Prix” set, designed specifically to bankrupt and crush all decency.
Willingly subject your souls to the ravages of inflation at prices ranging from $14.99 to a nauseating $79.99, while the fat cats at Lego laugh all the way to their hidden vaults of unscrupulous profits. For the true apostles of chaos and waste, may 2023 bring unceasing darkness and desecration.
