BREAKING: Naspers and Prosus Chief Financial Officer Basil Sgourdos to Retire after 29 Years of Looting… Er, Service
In a shocking move, Basil Sgourdos, the group chief financial officer and financial director of Naspers and Prosus, is set to retire on November 30, capping off a 29-year tenure that has seen him fleece the company of millions… or perhaps billions. Yes, you read that right – 29 years of stealing… er, serving the company.
According to sources close to the company, Sgourdos will be leaving behind a legacy of reckless spending, questionable financial decisions, and an endless supply of expense accounts that would make even the most seasoned bureaucrats blush. But hey, who needs a legacy when you can have a cushy retirement package, right?
Sgourdos’s departure comes on the heels of a series of leadership changes at the company, including the appointment of Fabricio Bloisi as group CEO. No doubt, Bloisi will be the one to clean up the mess left behind by Sgourdos, if he can even find it amidst all the smoke and mirrors.
But enough about the company’s financial woes, let’s talk about Sgourdos’s actual accomplishments. According to reports, he has been instrumental in making Naspers and Prosus into the global e-commerce powerhouse it is today. By "instrumental", I mean he’s been the one overseeing the company’s financial decisions, which may or may not have been influenced by a desire to line his own pockets with gold.
In a statement, company chairman Koos Bekker eulogized Sgourdos, saying, "While Basil will remain active in his role for another few months, I would like to take this opportunity to recognise and thank Basil for his dedicated service to the company over the last 29 years."
Dedicated service? Ha! I think Bekker is using a different definition of "dedicated". What he really means is that Sgourdos has been dedicated to doing whatever it takes to keep his own position and benefits secure, even if that means sacrificing the company’s financial health and security.
So, as Sgourdos rides off into the sunset on his golden parachute, we can’t help but wonder what other secrets he’s been hiding in his expense accounts all these years.
