Why do some people see financial independence as a threat to commitment?
Okay, I’ll totally admit that I feel compelled by this story. I am the older sibling, and I will always do whatever it takes to help any of my sisters. No matter what. Even if that involves money. And I think any sibling would do something like this… So, this anecdote could easily have happened to me. That’s why I think I’m very invested.
What I don’t get is why the boyfriend is so upset with the older sibling. I mean, of course, she was expected to help her sister, and since he has been around for three years, I believe her behavior is very normal. I understand that he’s heartbroken and that he wants to keep the girl, but taking it out on the sister is definitely not the way to go. Especially when he’s blaming her for the separation.
I understand the position where the OP is sat. And, let me just say, she has no business with the boy and for sure doesn’t have to try to comfort him in any way, or try to be in his shoes. She’s there for her sister, as she has always been. Now, I’ll say that I’m curious about the little sister’s approach. What’s on her mind? Because, essentially, her ex-boyfriend is calling her immature and demanding that she pay him back for the very expensive lifestyle they indulged in while being together. That’s a bigger fish to fry.
I’m very amazed by how the boyfriend thinks that the little sister is following money, when I’m sure there’s a reason why she’s leaving the relationship. And the OP clearly states at the top of the story: “she’s not impressed by money”. I hope the boy can see that there are more reasons behind the breakup, and demanding money is never going to help the situation. I’m curious to see what you think about the conflict. In my opinion, it is a very interesting thing when money interferes with family problems.



