People can have complicated relationships with food because of culture, family habits, or body image, and it’s not something that can be easily explained or controlled. We get that, and we respect that. But this is not one of those situations. The real issue here is food waste and someone’s inconsiderate attitude.
The daughter’s boyfriend doesn’t want to eat in front of people, and that seems to be a phobia, so we won’t blame him for that, and we respect that. But that doesn’t mean everyone else has to keep paying for expensive restaurant meals that go untouched, or keep watching homemade food get thrown away into the trash. We should separate those things. Accepting food to throw it away is not respectful either.
He doesn’t have to eat in front of the family if he doesn’t feel comfortable. But he also doesn’t need to order a full meal and then throw it out. If they’re at a restaurant, that wastes money for them. And if they’re at home, it wastes time, effort, groceries, and care. Why do you have to pretend to eat, only to throw away everything afterward? There must be a way to do things differently.
He seriously needs to find a way to deal with his phobia and stop making his girlfriend’s parents waste food and money. He could pack food to go and then eat alone. He could join for conversation but skip the meal. He could say he already ate, and then eat somewhere alone. There are ways to spend time together without wasting an entire plate. And above all things, an honest conversation would totally make things better.
The parent should probably avoid calling him out or banning him from meals, because that will only make things worse, and he could feel affected personally. But respect goes both ways. The boyfriend may be dealing with something, but the family is also allowed to set limits around wasted food and money.
Author: Kayitsi.com
