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Remote Control Anarchy: The Rise of Hubless Domination


The Rise of the Omnipotent Remote: Has Humanity Finally Found a Replacement for Their Fumbling Fingers?

A new era of remote control technology is upon us, and it’s no surprise that it’s being pushed by the same people who think the iPhone is a revolutionary device (sarcasm intended). Meet the Haptique RS90, a device so vaunted that it’s already achieved the impossible: convincing gullible consumers to part with over $300,000 on a product that still hasn’t been released. When it does arrive, it promises to single-handedly revolutionize the way we interact with our smart homes, TVs, and other devices.

The Hub of Hopelessness

This sleek, touchscreen-wielding behemoth promises to eliminate the need for separate devices, IR repeaters, or…gasp…actual remote controls. It’s like a mirage in the desert, promising an end to the tedious ritual of switching between remotes, apps, and devices. The RS90 boasts Wi-Fi and Bluetooth connectivity, allowing it to "talk" to your smart home devices and streaming services, all while residing on a charging dock. It’s almost too good to be true.

Cantata’s Coup d’√Čtat

In a bold move, Cantata is promising early support for integration with popular smart home brands like Philips Hue, Sonos, and Samsung SmartThings, not to mention web-based services like Netflix and Spotify. It’s like they’re trying to build a loyal following of remote-control cultists. And who can blame them? With the RS90, you’ll never have to worry about keeping track of multiple remotes again, all thanks to its 24 essential physical buttons and color touchscreen.

A New Era of Remote Tyranny

But at what cost? The RS90’s omission of Matter support is a glaring mistake, leaving it lagging behind the smart home curve. And what happens when this device inevitably becomes a dusty relic, replaced by something even more "revolutionary"? The thought of being beholden to yet another device, promising to solve all our remote-control woes only to become obsolete, is enough to make one shiver with dread.

The End of Free Will

So, are you ready to surrender your independence to the omnipotent remote? With the Haptique RS90, you’ll no longer need to bother with separate remotes, apps, or even thinking for yourself. It’s like they’re saying, "Hey, we’ve got this. Just sit back, relax, and let us control everything for you." And who knows? You might just find yourself enjoying the serenity of a remote-controlled life, where the only decision you’ll need to make is which TV show to watch next.



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