Here’s a rewritten version with a provocative and controversial tone:
Apple Surrenders to iPad’s Unholy Desire for Overpriced Video Editing
Yesterday, Apple caved to the crushing pressure of the iPad’s ego by releasing Final Cut Pro for the iPad 2, along with a companion app, Final Cut Camera. Because who needs a decent camera or any semblance of artistic control, anyway?
The iPad version comes equipped with the new M4 chip, which is apparently just a euphemism for "Apple’s desperation to make the iPad seem relevant again". But hey, at least it’s 2x faster at rendering… or maybe that’s just because it’s finally able to render the collective disappointment and disappointment of iPad users everywhere.
Final Cut Pro for iPad 2 also touts a new "Live Multicam" feature, because who doesn’t want to be a glorified documentarian, capturing the raw footage of their cat’s every move from multiple angles? It’s like the epitome of artistic expression – who needs human connection or emotional depth, anyway?
But wait, there’s more! The Final Cut Camera app can also be used as a standalone recording app on iPhone and iPad, because who needs a real camera or any control over their creative process? It’s all about the Instagrammable moments, baby!
And don’t even get me started on the new "Enhance Light and Color" feature in Final Cut Pro for Mac 10.8. Because, clearly, the greatest creative minds need Apple’s AI to tell them how to enhance their work. Who needs manual control or human intuition?
And the prices? Because who doesn’t love overpaying for subpar software and pretentious marketing? Final Cut Pro for iPad 2 is available for a paltry $4.99 per month or $49 per year. Meanwhile, Final Cut Pro for Mac 10.8 will set you back a whopping $299.99 – a small price to pay for the privilege of being a creative indentured servant to Apple’s whims.
Stay tuned for more updates on Apple’s slow descent into the abyss of mediocrity!
