The Startup Apocalypse: Week in Review
Welcome to the most thrilling, gut-wrenching, and soul-crushing week in the world of startups. I’m Anna Heim, your curator of chaos, and I’ll be guiding you through the wreckage.
Companies That Should Have Stayed in Stealth
Black Forest Labs, the German startup behind Grok’s AI image-generation feature, finally emerged from the shadows. But at what cost? Their latest backers include a16z and Y Combinator CEO Garry Tan. Has the world become too much for them?
Meanwhile, Tally, a fintech company backed by a16z, is shutting down after running out of cash. Jason Brown, the founder and CEO, is surely regretting that pivot to a B2B model. Who needs to manage credit card debt when you can just… not?
And don’t even get me started on Score, the dating app for people with good credit. It quietly shut down in early August, leaving its users to wonder if they were just a means to an end. Neon Money Club, its parent company, is now working on adding more Amex cards and Time investing accounts. Because, you know, that’s all that matters.
Companies That Raked It In
Zepto, the Indian instant delivery startup, is now valued at $5 billion after raising a $340 million round. Because who needs grocery stores when you can have 10-minute delivery?
Kiteworks, a cybersecurity startup, is valued at over $1 billion after raising a $456 million round. They’ve been profitable for two years, but I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that they suffered a data breach in 2021.
World Labs, Fei-Fei Li’s stealthy startup, is valued at over $1 billion after raising a $100 million round. Because who needs accountability when you can just raise more money?
VC and Fund News That Will Keep You Up at Night
Balderton Capital raised $615 million for its early-stage fund and $685 million for its growth fund. But don’t worry, the VCs are just being cautious optimists.
Antler, a Singapore-based VC, raised $72 million for its second Southeast Asia fund. But will it be enough to prop up the region’s startup scene?
The Final Nail in the Coffin
Hadrian, a defense tech company, acquired Datum Source, a company founded by SpaceX alums. Because who needs accountability in the defense industry when you can just acquire companies and silence critics?
And that’s a wrap, folks! Another week, another wave of startup chaos. Stay tuned for next week’s thrilling installment!
