And the house rules, the real crown jewel of landlord absurdity: no fans, no extension cords, no guests past a week, as if the building’s structural integrity hinges on a box fan rather than the decade of neglect actually holding it together. Somewhere along the way, “landlord” quietly became “unlicensed warden,” running a rental like a probation program where comfort has to be earned through obedience, and somehow still collecting rent on time for the privilege.


