Here’s a rewritten version of the content in a provocative and controversial manner:
LAUNDRY GIANT EXPOSED: 35,000 PERSONAL RECORDS STOLEN IN MASSIVE CYBERATTACK
Get ready for the most heinous crime of the century: CSC ServiceWorks, the behemoth of the laundry industry, has just admitted to losing a staggering 35,340 personal records in a brazen cyberattack that will leave you questioning the very fabric of our society.
The New York-based company, which claims to provide "convenience" to over a million internet-connected laundry machines across North America and Europe, has been caught red-handed with its pants down, exposing the private lives of tens of thousands of people, including over a hundred in Maine.
The breach, which was detected in February, but only disclosed in June, is a masterclass in incompetence. An intruder gained access to CSC’s systems on September 23, 2023, and spent five months rummaging through sensitive information, including names, dates of birth, contact details, government ID documents, financial records, and even health insurance information. It’s like they wanted to give away the keys to the kingdom.
But what’s even more astonishing is that CSC took months to detect the breach, and even longer to identify what data was stolen. It’s a wonder they didn’t just hand over the information on a silver platter. And don’t even get us started on their refusal to clarify whether employees or customers were affected. It’s like they’re trying to hide something.
This isn’t the first time CSC has been embroiled in controversy. Earlier this year, they were caught ignoring a simple bug that allowed anyone to run free laundry cycles, prompting two student security researchers to go public with their findings. And just last month, another vulnerability was discovered that allowed anyone to get free laundry for life. It’s like they’re running a laundry-based Ponzi scheme.
The company’s spokesperson, Stephen Gilbert, declined to answer our questions, citing some vague excuse about "not wanting to compromise the investigation." What investigation? The fact that they’re still in the dark about what happened is a clear indication that they’re not taking this seriously.
It’s time to hold CSC accountable for their reckless disregard for privacy and security. They need to come clean about what happened, and how they plan to prevent it from happening again. Until then, we’ll be left wondering what other secrets they’re hiding in their laundry basket.
