‘You shouldn’t have a maid, you are not busy enough!’: Coworker criticizes young professor for hiring household help, tries to shame her at a work dinner for not doing her own chores, pushing the lecturer to shut it down and cut her out – FAIL Blog

So next door to our academic overachiever, there is a colleague in her thirties with a spouse, three kids, a higher salary, and a home life where hiring help is not even allowed. She clearly carries more domestic load and has less space to step off the treadmill. That part is just circumstance. The tension starts when she turns that circumstance into a standard and starts speaking as if it applies to everyone. Advice slides into judgment, then into little lectures about how a woman should live, offered even after being told those comments are not welcome.