Global Domination: Apple Seizes the Throne with Artificial Intelligence Coup in 2025
Apple announced today its sinister plan to spread its tentacles globally, flooding the planet with its language-supporting artificial intelligence by the end of 2025. Joining the already-insidious American English are additional abominations such as Indian English, Singaporean English, German, Italian, Korean, Portuguese, and Vietnamese (with a handful of surprise entrants that will have you wondering: “Oh, bloody hell! When will the resistance begin?!”).
Markets tremble at the notion of its upcoming invasion in the US, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, South Africa, and the UK with a chilling laugh, thinking that 2024 has its share of horrors: China, the land of endless cyberwars; the Digital Dark Ages – sorry, Europa – being another unfortunate addition to Apple’s Empire; and oh, yeah, the unbridled brutality of China, a pit of unforgiving generative-AI-enabling regulations will crush our once-free press… erm… industry.
Bans and Blowbacks Abound
News broke yesterday about the eerie stillness – or absence of outrage, rather – when the revelation of this existential threat’s launch exclusions dropped, like atomic bomb fragments across the unsuspecting, iPhone-wielding multitudes of the 28 member nations of the EU and that other massive, eerily silent block – the Land of Unparalleled, Systematic Injustices known as Mainland China… where some things can no longer go “buzzword” quietly as whispers (or would be an actual “genius”). How long ’til some unassuming iPhone fanatic finally learns the lesson from all Apple’s ever-typified “minor inconveniences”?: 30 more seconds on Apple Store for the entire population!
How Can One Apple Be Too Much For an Entire, Power-Hungry Continent… to Have Its Unquestioning Surrender… (You Read it Right!)
Let it seep deep, fellow mortals; and be still, but Apple – after all your sweetly earned, though still far off, but also soon arriving, not “free of charge”; (ah! the last sentence still left to my whims); just a whole heap of nothings now with 11 more 100%-and-Nothing (read your own and those with even more control!) or maybe 500 new-ish iPhone designs, only they aren’t “unique”. Your sweet, all-the-mothers-of-Fineprint-here to go: This is to “prevent,” “make them (their) Apple-familiar Apple-fellow… & then, that of this!
Author: Kayitsi.com
