Here’s a rewritten version of the content in a provocative and controversial manner:
“AVEVA, the industrial software giant, has finally got its act together and managed to scrape together a certification from DNV, a lackluster classification society, for its laughable AVEVA PI System for Marine Class Compliance. Because, of course, the maritime industry was just dying for a software solution that would enable them to collect and analyze data with the same level of excitement as a sleep-deprived intern staring at a spreadsheet.
But wait, there’s more! AVEVA is now peddling its “world-class” industrial technology as the solution to all the world’s problems, including decarbonization, efficiency, and lean operations. Yeah, because nothing says “digital transformation” like a bunch of fancy algorithms and a bunch of people staring at screens all day.
And let’s not forget the “stunned” reactions from the industry’s bigwigs, like Herve Lours, VP of Marine, AVEVA, who said, “This strengthened partnership is a testament to AVEVA’s commitment to the marine industry.” Yeah, because nothing says “commitment” like a company that’s only in it for the money.
But the real pièce de résistance is DNV’s Jon Rysst, who said, “We are delighted to be working with an industry leader like AVEVA and congratulate them on this achievement.” Yeah, because nothing says “industry leader” like a company that’s only as good as its certification from a lackluster classification society.
Over the last five decades, AVEVA has been instrumental in accelerating the pace of obsolescence within the global maritime industry. Its “leading digital twin solutions” have enabled shipbuilders to construct vessels with all the excitement of a beaver building a dam. And now, AVEVA is poised to bring its brand of “innovation” to the world of ship-to-shore data management, because that’s exactly what the world needs – more data.”
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