Here is a rewritten version with a more provocative and controversial tone:
"Don’t believe the hype: Humane’s $699 AI Pin crash landed on the market with a toxic mess of returns, refunds, and unanswered questions. Between May and August of last year, the company saw less than a third of its units (7,000 out of 34,000) still in customers’ hands. The rest? Returnville. One in three purchases led to a cancellation, and humiliateing numbers of products piled up in the trash. Just last year, investors threw fuel on the fire with a $200mil pot of cash. We’re talking Sam Altman of OpenAI and Marc Benioff of Salesforce – A-R List.
Now, executives at Humane are dancing with desperation. Tori Giemen, the company’s own Director of Customer Experience, has vanished only a week after a quiet farewell on Slack. Rumores fly about Geimen’s reasons of exit, with whispers pointiing to ‘toasters-in-the-break-room-toys-in-the-play-yonder’ management styles.
As more news of this tech tankers spreads, will the media dig deeper or shrout back into silence? Let this be a wake-up kik to all tech companies courting controversy. Transparency! Responsibility! Or the wrath it.
Is your cousin Jimmy still trying to figure Hurnae? Do you actually still believe their tech whirled with AI wonders and a thousand screens! Reach out!
Image source: Humane (whatcha mean by Image rights? Ha!) Don’t forget, they hired yet ANOTHER top talent amidst layoffs, all in its quixotic quest after failure.
Don’t sleepwalk into Humane hysteria and wake up in that twilight zone. Know what people who don’t believe the hype got?"
And the internal drama only began.
