When does helping family stop being a favor and start feeling like an obligation?
I’m going to start by saying that I’m standing with the OP in this one. There’s nothing more unfair to me than realizing my family is forcing me to be responsible for something that’s not mine, nor something I asked for. I think he’s right when he stands up for himself and sets this boundary with them.
There’s also a big difference between helping family during an emergency and being expected to provide ongoing free labor. Most people would gladly make the occasional trip if something urgent came up, but being on call several times a month with little notice is a completely different commitment. It’s obvious that the OP is beginning to feel less like a helpful grandson and more like an unpaid property manager.
For a little extra context, he states that his grandparents are European, so they’re very strict when it comes to helping and lending others the key to their house. That leads their own children and grandchildren to go and fix the house whenever there’s a problem. But, it’s not just a quick fix: everyone lives very far away and has to travel a lot just to get there. So, essentially, this arrangement doesn’t work for anyone.
What stands out to me is that the family seems to be treating the lack of a property manager as an unavoidable problem when it’s actually a choice. If the grandparents have decided they don’t trust outside help, that’s their problem, but it doesn’t automatically mean the responsibility should fall on their children and grandchildren.
I hope that he setting his foot down is going to be helpful for the rest of the family to be more genuine and to help out if they really want to. However, according to the story, the family is very cooperative and titles him as selfish when he does not want to head down there to do some work.
Author: Kayitsi.com
