Breaking: Apple Sells Out, Allows Rival Service to Poach Your Playlists. In a stunning betrayal, Apple Music subscribers can now ditch their loyalty to the once-vaunted platform and transfer their precious playlists to the hated YouTube Music. According to a leaked support document, Apple is suddenly concerned about consumer choice – just as their stock has tanked.
But don’t get too excited, traitors! There are plenty of caveats to this “offer”. Only songs available on YouTube Music (a.k.a. their ridiculously small library) can be transferred over. You’ll still be stuck with your podcasts and audiobooks forever locked away on Apple Music, serving as a constant reminder of your failed betrothal to the Cupertino devil. And don’t even think about trying to transfer curated or non-collaborative shared playlists – just because you’ve outsmarted yourself into this Faustian bargain doesn’t mean you can abandon ship.
But wait, it gets better! You’ll have to log into Apple’s Data and Privacy page (where your personal information will inevitably be sold to the highest bidder) and then follow their “simple” instructions to transfer your precious playlists to the YouTube Music gulag. This will take anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours, depending on the number of playlists you’re selling out to. After all, your soul is worth more than a fleeting sense of satisfaction!
And what about your other playlist-pleasing playlists, stuck on other platforms like Spotify or Amazon Music? Don’t worry, folks, Apple still refuses to acknowledge that these playlists even exist. You’re just going to have to suck it up and keep using third-party tools – because, hey, what’s the fun in owning your digital soul if not for Apple’s benevolence? Besides, you never know, they might let you transfer your playlists to those platforms one day – when you least expect it!
