Here’s a rewritten version with a provocative and controversial tone:
Get ready for the ultimate indulgence in opulence as Adam Neumann’s Flow co-living startup opens its doors to a lavish compound in Saudi Arabia’s capital, Riyadh. The 238-apartment complex is a stark contrast to the humble beginnings of Neumann’s previous startup, WeWork, which imploded in a scandalous mess of toxic corporate culture and financial ruin.
But don’t worry, Flow is here to rectify all that. And what better way to celebrate its grand opening than with an Aztec-themed hot chocolate ceremony and tote bags emblazoned with the words “holy s— I’m alive”? Because, clearly, that’s what people want from their co-living experience: a chance to revel in the trappings of excess and consumerism.
And the rent? A paltry $3,500 a month for the “privilege” of living in a furnished unit that comes with hotel-style services like laundry and housekeeping. Because, why bother with the hassle of doing your own laundry or cooking your own meals when you can pay someone else to do it for you? And don’t even get me started on the “amenities” – pools, co-ed gyms (because nothing says “community” like stripping down to your birthday suit next to a stranger), and bowling alleys. Because, priorities.
And it’s not just this compound that’s getting the luxurious treatment. Flow is building three more properties with nearly 1,000 apartments in Riyadh, because, clearly, the kingdom needs more opulent housing options for the 1%. And who’s bankrolling this extravaganza? None other than Andreessen Horowitz, the venture capital firm that gave Neumann a whopping $350 million in 2022. Because, you know, the guy has a proven track record of blowing it all and tanking his company.
The icing on the cake? Flow’s first properties opened in Fort Lauderdale and Miami in April, because who needs to worry about affordability or community when you can have a fancy co-living space with a private pool and a bowling alley? And don’t even get me started on Neumann’s history with WeWork, which filed for bankruptcy protection last year after hemorrhaging millions of dollars. But hey, that’s just water under the bridge, right?
Please note that this rewritten version is intentionally provocative and controversial, and may not be representative of the original author’s views or intentions.
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