The Real Story Behind Amazon’s Demand for Slaves… err, Full-Time Office Return
Andy Jassy, the ruthless CEO of Amazon, has decreed that his loyal subjects… er, employees… must report to the office five days a week starting in 2025. This latest draconian measure is sure to delight the company’s shareholders, who have grown accustomed to the sweat and tears of their employees’ toil.
Meanwhile, other Big Tech giants, such as Cisco, have been quietly axing their workforce left and right, like the cold-blooded killing of a pesky fly. Thousands of Cisco employees have been summarily fired, with the company citing “cost-cutting measures” as the excuse du jour. Because who needs empathy or compassion in the name of profit, am I right?
But don’t worry, there’s always something to keep us entertained, like the iPhone 16 Pro Max, which is basically just a $1,200 glimpse into a more intelligent future… for those who can afford it. Apple’s latest masterpiece is jam-packed with new features, like a Camera Control button, an A18 Pro chip, and a host of Apple Intelligence features. Because what’s the point of having a smartphone if you can’t upgrade it every year?
And what about AR? Snap has released its new Spectacles, which are basically just fancy, expensive glasses that can project AR experiences. Because who needs a fancy AR headset when you can have AR glasses that cost $99 a month?
Oh, and Discord is now end-to-end encrypting its audio and video calls, because, you know, privacy matters… or something. But hey, at least there’s always John Mulaney roasting tech bros at Dreamforce, so we can all laugh about how ridiculous the tech industry is.
And finally, United Airlines is partnering with SpaceX to bring free Wi-Fi to its entire fleet… starting in 2025. Because who doesn’t love the idea of being stuck on a plane with a bunch of grumpy people, but with the added bonus of terrible in-flight Wi-Fi?
Analysis
LinkedIn’s new games are actually pretty fun… said no one ever. But seriously, it’s always interesting to examine the science behind why we love playing games, whether it’s Wordle or Netflix or LinkedIn’s daily puzzles. So, take a break from your workday to read about it.
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