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Revolutionary Code: No More Boundaries


The Tyranny of Low-Code: Retool’s Bid to Enslave Developers

In an unsettling development, Retool has dropped a new "feature" allowing companies to build external apps with minimal coding effort. This is exactly what we didn’t need – an army of amateur developers unleashed to construct clunky, insecure web applications.

Retool claims that their "low-code" wonder solution will revolutionize the way software is built, but let’s be real – this is just a recipe for disaster. "We’re not talking about building the next social network," they soothe, but that’s only because they know that’s out of their league. Instead, they’ll spend their time churning out subpar business apps that reek of mediocrity.

The Dark Side of Low-Code

The CEO of Retool, David Hsu, boasts that external business software is "remarkably similar" to internal tools, implying that coding genius is no longer required. Never mind that this is a flippant disregard for the thousands of years of human innovation, craftsmanship, and dedication that have gone into designing software.

By reducing software development to mere button-pushing, Hsu is effectively devaluing the skill and artistry of countless developers who have spent years honing their craft. The world will soon be forced to endure an onslaught of sloppy, insecure apps that are little better than what a toddler could clobber together.

Security? Don’t Make Me Laugh

Let’s not even get started on Retool’s half-baked ideas about security. They’re touting these as a major selling point? How quaint. With one simple authentication feature and a weak sauce JavaScript SDK, they assume that external apps will magically spring to life without a single hint of malware or data breaches. Spare me the theatrics; these so-called "security enhancements" are an insult to anyone who has ever written a meaningful line of code.

The Endgame: Retool’s Desperate Quest for Relevance

In his own words, Hsu proudly proclaims that Retool aims to make its framework perform better than React. Oh, the naivety. As if rewriting React was even possible, and not to mention the sheer ambition required to take on React in the first place. This is equivalent to claiming that a Sunday afternoon coding project can rival Microsoft’s Office suite.

Retool’s latest abomination is all part of their desperate bid for attention and relevance. Their "good software for everyone" mantra is nothing more than propaganda aimed at convincing unsuspecting business owners to entrust the delicate craft of software development to their "wizard" algorithms. We can only warn our readers: do not, under any circumstances, join this circus.



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