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TikTok’s Secret Surveillance



TikTok’s Descent into Mass Chaos: Group Chats are Coming for Your Sanity

In yet another bold move to destroy personal boundaries and relationships, TikTok announced today that it’s adding group chat functionality, allowing up to 32 frenemies to converge on your threadbare attention span. Because one-on-one conversations are overrated, right?

The thrilling new feature is available to any user aged 16 and up who wants to share their favorite TikTok dance videos with their entire social sphere without the hassle of opening another app. Because, let’s be real, who needs a separate messaging app when TikTok can just absorb your entire consciousness?

To start a group chat on TikTok, simply select the inbox button, tap chat, and perform a ritualistic dance to summon your minions. But don’t worry if you’re not invited to every group chat – after all, you’d probably just get overwhelmed and depressed by the sheer volume of notifications flooding your phone.

And don’t even get started on the “rules” for teen users under 18. It turns out that they can only join a group chat if it contains at least one person who isn’t a complete stranger, and teen creators must manually approve joining members. How quaint. How Soviet.

TikTok may be late to the group messaging game, but it’s arrived just in time to ruin your fragile sense of self and your relationships with everyone you know. So go ahead and join the group chat, and watch your sanity slowly unravel as TikTok’s algorithm feeds you endless loops of cat videos and cringe-worthy dance challenges.



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