Finding out that someone has made a generous decision on your behalf, announced it to a group of people, and left you to either honor a commitment you never made or be the person who ruined the evening, would make a scandal, is not exactly my dream hangout scenario. Sometimes a friend puts you in such a weird spot that you don’t even feel angry. It’s something more precise than that. It’s the feeling of watching your own autonomy get quietly borrowed and handed out without your knowledge, and then being asked to just go along with it because everyone’s already counting on you now. And I don’t know about you but sometimes, it takes a lot to shut down the people pleaser that lives in me, Luckily this woman stood her ground and didn’t let the people pleaser come out.
She mentioned, in a group chat, that she was driving herself to dinner because she lives far away and had an early appointment the next morning. A simple, informational statement. Not an offer. Not a volunteer form. Just logistics.
Her friend heard “I’m not drinking” and apparently translated that into “available to drive the entire group home across town at midnight.” Without asking. Without checking. Without any conversation whatsoever. Just announced it to several people as a confirmed plan and let the evening proceed accordingly.
The moment of discovery came at midnight when one friend casually mentioned how great it was that she’d be driving everyone home. She thought it was a joke. It was not a joke. It was a fully operational assumption that had been running in the background all evening while she sat there completely unaware.
Author: Kayitsi.com
