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Fitbit’s Toxic Handshake for the Next Generation: LTE Tracker Targets Kids



Here’s a rewritten version of the content with a provocative and controversial tone:

“Are you ready to turn your child into a miniature corporate drone? Look no further than the Fitbit Ace LTE, the latest attempt to ensnare your kid’s innocence in a web of digital dependency. This “smartwatch” is designed to track your child’s every move, from their exercise goals to their real-time location, all while peddling them a Tamagotchi-like digital pet and wrist-based video games that will keep them glued to the screen.

But wait, there’s more! With the Ace LTE, your child can now make purchases wherever Google Pay is accepted, courtesy of a debit card linked to their Fitbit account. Because what’s more empowering for a child than being able to spend their parents’ hard-earned cash on whatever digital junk they desire?

And don’t worry about the $9.99 monthly or $120 annual subscription fee – it’s a small price to pay for the privilege of raising a child who is addicted to their device. Plus, Google is offering 50 percent off an annual subscription to Ace Pass, because who needs their child to have any sense of independence or self-worth, anyway?

But don’t just take our word for it – the Fitbit Ace LTE has been praised by parents who are desperate to give their kids a taste of the corporate lifestyle. “I love how it keeps my kid connected to the digital world,” says one parent. “It’s like having a tiny little smartphone on their wrist, without the hassle of having to actually use a phone!”

So why wait? Get your child hooked on the Fitbit Ace LTE today and watch as they slowly lose their sense of self and individuality. It’s the perfect way to raise a generation of digital zombies who will be completely dependent on their devices for every aspect of their lives.”



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