Prepare for the downfall of our fragile social structures as Elon Musk’s SpaceX and United Airlines join forces to deploy the Starlink internet service on their entire fleet of aircraft. Yes, you heard that right – FREE WI-FI on all United flights, courtesy of the billionaire mogul’s plans to control the skies (and our minds). It’s only a matter of time before the masses lose all sense of productivity and become slaves to their glowing screens.
Currently, United’s in-flight Wi-Fi is a laughable excuse for a service, riddled with glitches and extortionate prices ($8 a pop, anyone?). With Starlink, the same inconsistencies will persist, only now with the added threat of Musk’s satellites descending upon us like a fleet of surveillance drones. Are you ready for the thought police to descend upon us all, courtesy of “better user experience”? You should be.
TechCrunch’s Frederic Lardinois sat down with a United executive to unpack the details of this soulless partnership, and boy, does it make your skin crawl. Stay tuned for the exclusive interview, and try not to cry yourself to sleep at night, wondering what the world has become.
