Friend refuses to keep paying rent all by herself after her roommate gets behind on payments for the third month in a row without intending to change the situation: ‘I was tired of being her backup bank account’ – FAIL Blog

Is it ‘being a good friend’ or just being taken advantage of? 

When it comes to money issues, short reckonings make long friends. And that’s what a roommate shared on /r/AITH. She and her friend split rent 50/50, due on the first of the month. The friend has apparently been short on money lately, so she couldn’t pay in time. The roommate was happy to take care of it, with the promise of getting her money back in the next few days. The issue is that this happened three months in a row, and the friend only paid back after her roommate reminded her multiple times. 

We all have issues with money at some point, and we really appreciate it when the people living with us help us get through it. It’s very considerate of them, and it speaks well of their character to be generous. But one thing is having them help us when going through a rough patch, and a very different one is to use them as our personal ATM for monthly withdrawals. 

Paying rent is a personal responsibility, even when we share it with other people. The purpose of getting a roommate is to relieve the financial burden of paying rent and living on a single paycheck. If one has to make themselves responsible for the other one’s shortcomings, the arrangement stops being mutually beneficial. 

If one realizes that it is not possible to keep the payments in check, maybe it is time to reevaluate the situation. Perhaps it’s necessary to administer money better. Perhaps it would be better to move to a more affordable place, or start prioritizing rent and bills over some other things. In truth, no one is responsible for our financial status but ourselves. We love our friends for supporting us when they can, especially if they live with us, but we don’t want to be a burden for them. 

In our friends’ case, they are completely justified if they ever tell us they can’t help with our money issues anymore. They have responsibilities and financial obligations of their own to attend to. We help each other as much as we can, but even generosity has a limit when it becomes an obligation instead of an act of love.